02 August 2015

Sunday Supplication

You might think this blog is mostly for me to shout my inner thoughts at the world. And yes, that's correct. I'm often worried (probably needlessly) that people will get a better opinion of me than is warranted, likely because I have a better opinion of me than is warranted. ;)

I don't know if I'll keep doing Sunday Supplications every Sunday, but I do think it could be beneficial to be specific in my prayer requests to those who may have a heart to pray for us. There are practical things we need, and there are spiritual things, and there are personal heart things.

For today, I'd love personal prayer for my anxiety. I've been really struggling with anxiety. I told Stephen it feels perfectly warranted from a human perspective -- taking care of our family takes a lot of most of my time and effort, and on top of that I have 14 different documents I need to obtain for our dossier, several of which I have to figure out how, all with differing lengths of time needed, and all needing to be obtained with as little lag as possible. And on top of that I need to raise $20,000.

So yes, I can get really stressed out. I've been having trouble sleeping. I've been having to physically calm myself down because I'm holding tension in all these parts of my body. It's helped that we have all of our homestudy documents complete [thank You, Lord], but we are now "broke" in our adoption account. We have some money set aside, but we need that to buy a vehicle that will hold all our kids. So I need to start raising funds, but I can only juggle so many things in this lil brain of mine without it taking a toll on my personal well-being. I can't do it on my own, but I've been trying.

I need to tune more into what God is saying, instead of just talking rapid-fire at him all the time. Oh my gosh, I AM MY FOUR YEAR OLD. Fine, God, there it is for everyone to see, my realization in real-time. LOL. You sneaky sneakster! Yes, I have been avoiding listening to God because this stage is so scary. I'm really, really scared we're going to lose the girls.

So yeah, lots of anxiety. Pray if you feel led, and thanks.

31 July 2015

Fundraising Friday

I realized I neglected to mention in my last fundraising post the expenses we've already incurred. I'll itemize it out when the thought of it doesn't make me feel so tired. Just know it's >$10,000.

Today I want to focus on one really fun way we're fundraising: The Chosen Marathon!

Chosen is a great organization that allows families to fundraise through their marathon, half-marathon, 5k, and even kids' fun run options. There are even "sleepwalker" and "virtual race" options for if you want to support but not race or if you can't make it down to New Braunfels that day. You send in your time in the month of November, and they send you your shirt, bib, and finisher's medal. #swag

This year's race is November 21st in New Braunfels, TX. The race is a Boston qualifier and USATF certified, so it's for serious runners as well as those who want to complete their first race. Plus the route is along the Guadalupe river, so it'll be pretty to look at when you get a muscle cramp have to stop to pee run flawlessly the whole race.

Another amazing thing is, when you register, you select our team, and then you can fundraise for our team if you want to. That way you can multiply your own gift by encouraging others to support you racing! If you're a team-kind-of-person, that might pump you up, but that's not for everyone. No biggie. But if you do like that sort of thing, GO CRAZY!

If you know someone who likes to run, lives near New Braunfels, and / or has a heart for adoption, they can sign up here: http://raceroster.com/events/2015/4188/chosen-marathon and choose Team Muenich Family! But hurryish because the prices go up after August 31st.

If you want to support my 5k race (what am I thinking? Running voluntarily? Who am I?), you can pledge here: https://raceroster.com/events/2015/4188/chosen-marathon/search-pledgees?q=Muenich

If we can rally around this race, we could raise $3,000!

30 July 2015

Wednesday Whaaaat?

My Wednesday Whaaat is dedicated to our doctor's office losing the documents we need. So I had to call our homestudy agency to get them, print them out again, put notary wording on them again, make copies again, write out instructions for our doctor again, put them in a packet again, and give them to the office. Again.

I was supposed to hit "schedule" for this and didn't. Here's my whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat for yesterday.

28 July 2015

Tuesday Timecard

I need to start writing these as I go, not all at the end. Maybe I'll remember it all?

This week, we:
- gave our doctor's office our paperwork AGAIN bc they lost it. #smh
- scheduled an appointment with an international doctor
- sent a few months' worth ($600) of orphanage care fees to the girls' home.
- Stephen finished reading the chapters of The Connected Child required by our homestudy update
- I finished reading the other articles required for our homestudy update
- made copies of our last two years' W2s (homestudy)
- printed out our pay stubs for the last 3 months (homestudy)
- bought yarn to begin the girls' blankets (separate post)

Okay, not TOO bad. I slowed myself down a little bit bc I've been having a lot of trouble falling asleep. I can't be running around doing things right until we get ready for bed.

All we're waiting on to schedule our homestudy update is our doctor's documents and our adoptive family questionnaire. Yay!

I've got to start some fundraisers, because we've officially run out of our non-allocated funds (as in our emergency fund and the money we're saving for buying a car that will fit four carseats. Sorry, lil Focus). More on that on Friday!

25 July 2015

Having Privilege my Daughters Won't

I confess, since we started planning to adopt from Africa almost 4 years ago, I've thought a lot about racism and white privilege in our country. Like A LOT. I think I alternate between trying to find appropriate methods of guiding my children through a reality I don't have to face, trying to figure out how I can fight this war so that my girls will be protected [#saviorcomplex], and obsessing over it in hopes that I will somehow learn enough to feel prepared.

I'm currently raising white sons. White, middle class boys. They and I have the good graces of the world, and I feel it. I feel the wash of approval every time I'm in public with them. People adore my boys. I like to think it's because holy cow they are so cute, but I know their (and my) whiteness really is a factor.

This pic is old, but it's also precious. Also also, they're so white they might be pink.

On Tuesday we were at the grocery store, and one of the store clerks came up & gave me an "instant winner" sticker she found from the game they have here. And it struck me: would she have given this to me if my kids were black? If I was a black mother? I really don't know, and that is one of the saddest things I've ever thought. Not because more horrible things haven't happened (it was a sticker for a game), but because that is a reality that never goes away for some. It may someday be my own daughters who face that.

I can't show you her face, but this is Star's midsection and her gorgeous, gorgeous skin.

I struggle not to rage at the thought. THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE. It is. Raising white sons and black daughters is going to make me more angry than I've ever been. And it will tear my heart apart.


I can prepare both my black daughters and my white sons to recognize, externalize, and appropriately combat racism. I invite you to do the same.