24 November 2015

A Sneak Peek (of sorts)

Yes, I've been furiously packing, buying random things (bless you, Amazon! and Target!), emailing & texting a million people, and running around like... well, like I have TWO DAYS to prepare for leaving the country (and one of those is Thanksgiving). I went out and bought a new outfit for our court date because apparently what I was planning on wearing was too casual. Stephen's also borrowing a suit from his dad because what he was planning on wearing was too casual. What can I say? We're casual people.

Yes, these are now the most formal clothes I own. A dress with slacks underneath. #winning?

I'll be wearing my own jewelry: the Freedom necklace.
 Indeed, I really hope the apartment we're staying in has an iron. And clearly I'm an incredible flat stylist. *eyeroll*

On a crazier note, no one told me (until Monday morning) that the girls will be staying with us during this trip.
[pause for effect.]
As in, we will meet them at their orphanage, and they will come back with us to Kampala, and they will be with us for our meetings and our court date and for five whole days we will be together. And then on Saturday, we will take them back to the orphanage and leave them there and fly back to the US.
[pause for effect.]
Ugh this is the worst idea ever when I think about that Saturday, which also happens to be our older girl's fourth birthday. So, I've been focusing on not-Saturday and have only had brief moments of hysterical crying since.

This is everything they will need for 6 days (minus food) I HOPE.
So we need to bring clothes for them and jammies and underwear and toothbrushes and shoes (what size? NO IDEA) and things to entertain them and what?!? What. Okay, do all the things. And that has been my mode lately: do all the things. So here are a couple of outfits they will wear (since they won't be coming to us with clothes).

This is the dress the girls will be wearing to court.
Of course I have a matching skirt for this. But the shirts won't match, so it's not weird.

I bought this romper when we were going to adopt Helene (in 2013). I've saved it basically out of stubbornness that I'll have a girl to put in it. I'm full of joy and thanksgiving and sadness when I think that Mirah will wear it, but Helene never got to. I still think about her a lot. Adoption loss is weird.

I don't know if I'll get a chance to post again before we leave; in addition to packing for myself and two girls I've never met before, I also need to get our boys packed up for staying with my parents for nine days. and have Thanksgiving. I have been promised wifi, so I'll try to update. It's supposed to be about dial-up speed, so you'll probably have to wait until I get back for more pictures.

19 November 2015

Praise God for December First!

LOOK what we got in our inbox this morning! Our court date! We are hurriedly making preparations to leave on Friday of next week!

PLEASE PLEASE be praying we will have a good visit with our girls, favor with the judge who sees our case, and that the judge will give us our written ruling by the time the courts close on December 15th. And for the hundred things that need to happen for our home and selves to be ready to receive them here. Our girls.

You could also be praying for our boys, who will miss us so much, and my parents, who will be watching them while we're gone.

15 November 2015

Sunday Supplication

Would you consider praying for me? I've been a bit down. Here's the only picture we took (before our camera died) on our "fun trip" to get the boys' passports:
I'm accepting my stomach rolls because this is about spending time with my child, not my modeling career.

But this is more how I feel all the time lately:
Continued presence of evidence that I've had children. I just feel less... I dunno. Just less.
I'm not going to use the "d" word [heavens, not divorce! Stephen is the best. Think of the "d" word relevant to this conversation, thanks] because there could be consequences for our adoption if that were to be the casebut I am struggling to find joy in life right now. Which is very strange for me, because my personality is very fun-oriented. I think the combination of stress, waiting, and lack of communication/understanding as far as how the next two months are going to play out has been a bit much for me emotionally.

It's just situational, so I'm going to start trying to take better care of myself, like I did when I had (slight) postpartum depression. In the meantime, I would welcome your prayers for our adoption to move along, for Stephen's ministry support raising to be fruitful, and that I would be as gentle with myself as I would be with a friend who was in the same position.

05 November 2015


I love, love love having boys. At least my boys.
Especially when their father dresses them. Shirt & Shoes | Shorts

If you haven't met him, our oldest is usually a robot in public.
A very loud robot.

 But look at this gorgeous thing. How could I not love being a mom to this kid?
A viable substitute for modeling headshots. #biased

 Especially when he pulls faces. Which is all the time.
This lil body is knock-kneed perfection.
Cherishing these fall days as a mom of only two little boys (Judah was napping during this).