So. After 1.5 whole weeks of raising support full time, I think I've quit at least four times. I've cried at least three. I've told God exactly what I think of this whole process at least five. And I've been so discouraged, and I've been really blessed, too many times to count.
I can usually handle an emotional roller coaster pretty well, but it is really draining. Every phone call is a dip or a bump. Every meeting, the same, but more pronounced. But the Lord. He's so faithful in my total absence of belief. In my railing against Him and His immovable desire to give me what's best.
You are so good, Lord. I'm sorry I don't tell You more often.
What I've noticed more than anything is my own engulfing fear. Wow. I need healing. He is faithful to me. Love.