28 March 2010

Someday... But That's not Today.

Today, we're going to look at "strong willed" versus "obstinate." I think we need to relearn.

The words "strong"-"willed" literally should imply something positive. That someone has a will and also has the strength to back that will up until the willed-into-being action or thing has been completed. I wish I had a strong will. Much more frequently, I have the weakest of wills, and I don't do what I want to do, but instead do things I don't really want to do.

Obstinate, however, I certainly am. Obstinate is holding to something without reason. It's making every issue a hill you're willing to die on. I know there must be an aspect of that in me that could be used for good. What that could be, the Lord has not yet revealed to me.

The question is, how do I systematically soften my obstinacy while in turn strengthen my will (or will-power, if you prefer)? Any thoughts? I have no illumination in this other than things like eating foods one doesn't like and sticking to bedtimes and skipping dessert and only talking in turn and everything else that isn't fun.

The link [in the title] is to a Burial/Four Tet collab called "Moth." I like it. You don't have to. Love.

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