02 May 2011

Pink and Blue (and Yellow, too)

So baby clothes and baby accessories and all this baby junk. (I love cute little baby stuff. I'm totally a hypocrite.)

I have several onesies that are "gender neutral" - no footballs or lace - and I prefer it that way. Ezra was in a banana-yellow onesie at HEB the other day, and the cashier assumed he was a girl (she couldn't see his face, so it must've been the color, unless he somehow has girlish limbs). Since when do colors belong to either sex? Yellow's a fabulous color - not really on Ezra right now (not the right skin tone for banana) - but it's vibrant and cheerful and full of fun, just like my little boy.

I thought about being defensive out of feeling embarrassed that I had tripped up on our social mores, but I think that's just stupid. He had a clean onesie on, and I'm glad for that. It didn't have holes in it, it kept him not too hot and not too cold, and it even had a little embroidered palm tree wearing sunglasses on the front. The only way it might be better suited for a future daughter is if she has less yellow in her complexion. Just saying. They're babies.

Can we take a step back? Even past my own weird, budding need to be seen as a good mother (I'm just saying, I'm not normally this). How dare we as a society be so nitpicky about babywear, for Pete's sake! Babies and toddlers and children and youth and adults are dying of starvation, inadequate sanitation, and lack of shelter. I am NOT going to be embarrassed because it's 95 degrees outside and my baby's only in a diaper. I am NOT going to be embarrassed because his onesie doesn't have footballs on it. I'm not even going to be embarrassed of his pink diaper cover or his (hideous) little pink socks.

I want my son to be empathic, compassionate, strong-willed, pure of heart, and confident in who God has made him to be. I want for him to be comfortable in his skin. He doesn't need to be intelligent, athletic, outspoken, or anything but what God has made him to be. It took me a couple decades to even begin realizing I shouldn't feel bad for how I was made; I should take pleasure in the talents He's given me, and trust and walk with Him in the areas in which I'm weak. The abundance and the lack in me both rest within the Lord because I belong to Him. All of me does.

I want my son to delight in the Lord; I know the Lord is delighted with him already. And I certainly don't want shame introduced into his life by me! Lord, I need Your strength to overcome the lies I've believed about myself. I need You to overwhelm my brokenness and keep it from Ezra. Please, out of the tenderness of Your mercies, break this chain.

1 comment:

  1. When Jude was about Ezra's age, a maroon shirt of Jason's somehow ended up in the wash with all his clothes. He was wearing pink (and purple from the blue onesies that combined with the maroon) until he grew out of those, which was a couple of months. :)