04 December 2012


Waiting is hard. Waiting is good.

I'm already tired of waiting. But it beats some of the "American" out of me - the part that thinks if I just bother someone enough, things will move faster (or, more desperately sad, throw enough money at it).

It's when nothing's moving that one's resolve is tested. Sometimes I do wish to get pregnant. But then, when I get around to actually daydreaming about it, I get sad about missing out on this. And I'm renewed in my desire to wait, to adopt our child. It's slow, this process, painfully slow. But it's painful like the soreness of a muscle that's been worked out. It's doing things in my heart. So (at least for right now), I'm glad there's no news, and it's just an expanse of waiting before us. Nothing exciting, just holding on and settling down and waiting for the Lord to move when it's right.

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