15 November 2015

Sunday Supplication

Would you consider praying for me? I've been a bit down. Here's the only picture we took (before our camera died) on our "fun trip" to get the boys' passports:
I'm accepting my stomach rolls because this is about spending time with my child, not my modeling career.

But this is more how I feel all the time lately:
Continued presence of evidence that I've had children. I just feel less... I dunno. Just less.
I'm not going to use the "d" word [heavens, not divorce! Stephen is the best. Think of the "d" word relevant to this conversation, thanks] because there could be consequences for our adoption if that were to be the casebut I am struggling to find joy in life right now. Which is very strange for me, because my personality is very fun-oriented. I think the combination of stress, waiting, and lack of communication/understanding as far as how the next two months are going to play out has been a bit much for me emotionally.

It's just situational, so I'm going to start trying to take better care of myself, like I did when I had (slight) postpartum depression. In the meantime, I would welcome your prayers for our adoption to move along, for Stephen's ministry support raising to be fruitful, and that I would be as gentle with myself as I would be with a friend who was in the same position.


  1. Praying for you and your girls! And I don't comment much but know that I have been for a long time. I can't imagine going through the ups and downs y'all have without it impacting your emotions.

  2. I know exactly what you mean when you say you feel less; I've been there many times. The desaturated picture is a perfect analogy. I don't really know what to do about it, other than pray, but I just wanted you to know that I know how you feel.