Today was a lot of good and a fair amount of please-don't-make-me-do-this. I woke up at 3am and couldn't go back to sleep, so my own fatigue was definitely a problem. I also forgot to plug the fridge back in last night, so the meat I bought (for 3 meals with leftovers) was spoiled. The girls did a great job playing, and they ate breakfast really well (6 eggs for two children, and toastnjam, and half an apple, and half an avocado). But we were waiting to be picked up to go back to the grocery store all day (there was a mixup with the drivers). Which sounds like not a big deal, but I was never sure I could make them a meal without it being interrupted, or put Mirah down for a nap, it was just an extra stressor.
I had to start really telling them no to things, even giving Mirah a time-in for hitting (it's like she was destined to be a Muenich. both boys are hitters). UGH I DON'T WANT TO DISCIPLINE. It's the lamest part of parenting.
And Mirah cries at bedtime and the wise part of me is all like "it's really not a big deal" but the whiney part is like "I don't waaaannaaaaa." But this morning, I went into their room right as Mirah was waking up, and she just laid her head on my lap and started dozing again. And when we finally went to the store she had just woken up, so she climbed in my arms and wouldn't be put down. Which, you know, she's pretty heavy to carry all around a grocery store, but it was sweet that she sought comfort from me.
I purposefully didn't take pictures today because I didn't want to make the fun things we did into something else. We blew up these ridiculously big balloons shaped like a swizzle stick, and the girls had a blast with stickers, and taking the caps off the markers (there was some drawing but not that much). They played with the balls we got at the store and started peeking through the hole in the gate at the front. They devoured their dinner and they sing and talk to each other all the time, including many different variations on "how are you?" and each other's names. During Mirah's nap, Stella and I started practicing letters.
So I think good things were done today. The girls seemed to generally be comfortable here and with me. Obviously I have no regrets about being here. I think really I just miss my boys and Stephen's coparenting. On the business side of things, Mirah's birth certificate was issued today, praise the Lord! We're going to finish filling out the forms tomorrow for our I-600 filing appointment on Monday. So excited to get the documents for the girls. There are so many blank spaces in their stories that I don't know; I'll be so glad to have even a little more to share with them when they're older.